Will Congress Protect Me From The Jetsons?

Being a writer is a very solitary profession. A lot of time is spent figuring out ways to avoid writing. On one of those occasions, I was channel surfing through the 200 or so channels that I have on my cable system. I happened across a retro channel dedicated to old cartoons. An episode of The Jetsons caught my eye, but it was something that caught my ear that shook me to the core. Wife Jane Jetson was lamenting that she no longer understood her 15-year-old daughter, Judy Jetson. On the surface, parents not understanding teenage children would not be so earth shattering. But Jane Jetson went on to say that she was only 33-years-old. Now I'm not a math wiz, but even I was able to figure out that Jane gave birth to Judy when she was only 18-years-old. Jane was a teenage mom. I don't know how old her husband George was, but it is safe to assume that he was also a teenager when he and Jane first had sex. For all I know, they may not have even been married. What were the cartoon writers thinking in 1962? Where were the network censors? More importantly, why hadn't Congress protected me from this assault on my young, impressionable psyche?

Since the attack on the World Trade Center in 2001, the most egregious attack that this country has ever known, Congress has devoted hundreds of hours of committee and floor time debating whether four letter words uttered on radio and television or the accidental glimpse of a woman's breast during a nationally televised football game (a reprehensible act of visual terrorism happening so quickly that, unless you still-framed your digital video recorder, you would have missed it entirely) is contributing to the moral decay of civilization as we know it. The result of “Breastgate” was the imposition of millions of dollars in fines against the offending television stations. The Federal Communications Commission also threatened both television and radio stations with fines of up to $500,000 should they even accidentally hurl an expletive across the public airwaves.

I'm feeling better these days as I settle down to an evening of television with my unregulated microwave popcorn and bottled water. I drink bottled water because fines for introducing pollutants into the public water supply average a paltry $50,000, but I can rest assured that my mind will be kept pure.

In 1962, Congress worried about the Cold War and the Cuban missile crisis. The current Congress seems more concerned about an imagined war on indecency than the very real war in Iraq and the threat of terrorism occurring on our soil. Apparently, the 1962 Congress was more concerned with national safety than what was being broadcast on radio and television because they never once brought up for debate whether or not a cartoon show called The Jetsons was promoting teenage pregnancy.

In 1962, politicians debated legislation aimed at protecting the lives and freedoms of all Americans. Morality remained a personal...not a political choice.

Religious Right

The Hypocrisy of Major League Baseball

In light of recent congressional hearings into alleged steroid use by Major League Baseball players and the baseball commissioner's apparent unwillingness to punish offending players, I have to wonder whether the powers that be have any sense of perspective when it comes to regulating America's pastime.

Fifteen years ago, Pete Rose was banished from the game of baseball. He was, in every sense of the word, a superstar. Superstardom in a sport does not guarantee superstardom off the field. Pete Rose is a perfect example of that dichotomy.

We now know that Rose bet on baseball and on his own team to win. He broke the rules, but the rules that he broke were those of a corporation, not a legal system. Like a child caught with his hand in the cookie jar, Rose denied the allegations to friends, co-workers, and the media. He blatantly lied about what he had done and, for that, he was banned from the game he loved for 15 years.

In this country, if you are convicted of manslaughter, you will probably serve less than 12 years in prison. Upon release, you are free to continue in your chosen profession as long as you don't kill any more people. This rule seems to be good enough for the United States, but not good enough for Major League Baseball.

The powers that be, want Rose to kneel before them and kiss their World Series rings. They say that his crime was so heinous that his banishment for life is justifiable penance for that crime. I wonder if these righteous men know the meaning of the word "hypocrisy?"

Darryl Strawberry violated the rules of baseball by taking drugs. Was he banished from the sport for life? No, he was put into drug rehab. When he came back to the sport and took drugs again, was he then banished for life? Again, the answer is no. The baseball commissioner apparently felt that illegal drugs that could affect Strawberry's performance on the field were not as bad as Rose's gambling.

So the question is, why is baseball's commissioner refusing to come down off his throne to pardon "Charlie Hustle?" The answer is money. You see, to most of us, baseball is nothing but a game. It's a diversion from our everyday 9-to-5 lives. To the baseball powers, it is not a game as much as it is a big bottom line. When Rose was a player he made a lot of money for baseball. He continued to make money as a manager, but his value was beginning to decrease. He became expendable.

The commissioner believes that Rose can best serve the game as the bad boy of baseball. Rose has become, what magicians call, a bit of misdirection. While the fans watch the controversy over Rose, they miss the fact that the sport of baseball has become more expensive, less entertaining and more businesslike. The commissioner can crow about keeping integrity in baseball as he and the owners take more from the fans and give back less.

It is true that Pete Rose broke a rule of the corporation for which he worked. But it is also true that he came clean with Major League Baseball and the fans.

Which brings us to Mark McGwire, who prefers not to discuss whether he ever used performance enhancing steroids. If his record-breaking baseball career was steroid-free, then why not proudly proclaim what baseball fans want to believe? Why have the asterisk of doubt hanging over his record? Perhaps he realizes that his silence will guarantee him entrance into the Hall of Fame. Pete Rose's only ticket into the Hall will come from a cashier.

Pete Rose

Losing Our Rights to the Religious Right

While Terri Schiavo lies in a vegetative state in a Florida hospital bed, I can't help but wonder how the founding fathers must be spinning in their graves. Congress, the legislative body responsible for creating laws designed to protect and serve all Americans, is instead focusing on a segment of society that is more concerned with religious beliefs than individual rights.

Since September 11, 2001, we have seen a consistent erosion of our personal rights in the name of democracy. Congress has become the ruling religious party of the United States. Civil marriage of same-sex couples has replaced civil rights as a congressional concern.

Before her unfortunate accident, Terri Schiavo had expressed her personal belief that a life in which she would be kept alive by artificial means was not a life that she would want to continue. In their grief, her parents have fought to sustain Schiavo’s life at any cost. It is incredibly difficult for any parent to lose a child but, after 15 years of life support, it may finally be time to let go.

They say that love is blind. As they blindly reach out for allies in their struggle to keep their daughter alive, Schiavo’s parents have turned a personal belief into a political firestorm. Congress is working overtime to write a bill that would then be signed into law by a very sympathetic president. The law will keep Schiavo on life support. In addition, it will also give an incredibly conservative Congress and the Religious Right, new ammunition in the right-to-life controversy.

Once again, something very personal has become something very political. The quality of an individual's life has become a political football. Unfortunately, when this battle finally comes to an end, there will be no winners.

Religious Right